A Father's Fight #1

April 10, 2013

A Father's Fight

So, I am starting this blog to chronicle everything that I am going through, trying to obtain access to

my daughter Sophia, who is currently three years old. Maybe this will help other single dad's out there.

Maybe they will learn from some of the mistakes I have made. Maybe it will just give them some hope

to keep going, to keep trying to be a father, to keep loving your kids and spending time with them. And

to never stop fighting for them.

I feel like I should give you some background on myself. I met my ex while I was serving a 10 year

Probation for something that I feel like I didn't deserve. I wont go into that here because it doesn't matter. It

wasn't a crime against a child or anything terrible like that. I just got caught up in something I shouldn't

have when I was younger and will have that label on me for a long time. I wasn't convicted, I plead out. I had
zero experience with the Texas criminal justice system. My lawyer said that if I didn't take the first deal 
offered, I was going to prison for 20 years... So in my ignorance I took a ten year Deferred Probation... It turns out I could have beaten my case. It was all hearsay... C'est La Vie.

Anyways, I met my ex and she immediately became pregnant. Oddly, I was super excited. I went to every doctors visit but one. I waited on my ex hand and foot. I laid my head on her stomach and listened to my child every night. I remember putting my headphones on her stomach and the baby

started moving when it heard the Rolling Stones “Sympathy for the Devil”.

On July 17, 2009 at around four in the afternoon, my daughter Sophia Milan was born. She

was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. We had an immediate bond. She would lay on my chest

all night. Whenever she was hurt or scared or hungry she wanted daddy. I spent the everyday for the

next eight months taking care of her. At one point my ex and I split up and she left Sophia with me. My

ex always promised me that Sophia would live with me and that she would never take her away from

me. We will come to find out that this wasn't exactly true.

On March 22, 2010 I was arrested for probation violations. These were all technical violations that

had added up over the last 5 years. Non-payment of fees, non-completion of community service, stuff

like that. I didn't commit any new crimes. I was too busy working. I wont offer any excuses for messing

up my probation. I was stupid and that's that. I was sentenced to three years in the Texas Department of

Criminal Justice...

I left my ex alone with two kids (she had a child from a previous relationship) for three years... I will

forever regret that. That is my sin. My ex told me that she would be there for me during the worst time

in my life. We even got married while I was in there. She did admirably... She stayed down for me for

two years. Then she met someone else and I didn't hear from her again. I am not mad at her for this... I

understand. Life goes on out here for everybody else while you are on hold inside. It was the worst

three years of my life. I worried everyday about my ex and those two little girls. It was hell.

Two days before I got out I was served with divorce and custody papers. They said that my ex was

suing for full custody of our daughter and that I was to have restricted visitation.

Once I was out I contacted my ex to try to see Sophia. She wouldn't let me have her for the weekend.

She said I could have her for two hours. I saw my daughter and it was love at first sight again. We

played and she asked Daddy to buy her some twinkle toes... I had no idea what they were but I said

anything you want :)I googled them and found out that they are Sketchers shoes. When my ex picked

her up that day we talked. Flirted is more like it. It was just like old times. We were joking and

laughing. Over the next few days we texted non-stop. We continued to flirt over text. She kept asking

me to show her my stomach because I had gotten into shape while I was away and have a good six

pack. She admitted to sleeping with two other people. She told me that she was dating somebody right

now and that it wasn't serious for her but it was for him. She said that she didn't know if she wanted to

get back together or not. I saw my daughter again the next Saturday from 11am until about 5pm. I took

her to the mall where we rode the carousel and I bought her Twinkle toe shoes. She looked at the lady

helping us at the store and said “my Daddy is buying me Twinkle Toes” It was so cute. Then we went

to Chuck E. Cheese and played games. Every time she did good on a game she would hug me and

laugh. We reconnected so easily. Once we got home we had a tea party and she was all over me.

Climbing on me and hugging me. When my ex picked her up she was very rude. She said that I

wouldn't see Sophia again for two weeks because that was the rules. I said that if those are the rules

then I should have her from Friday until Sunday. She said No. No overnight. I am honestly confused as to

why she is acting like this. She says it's because Sophia doesn't know me but that is what I am trying to fix! I

agree to taking it slow but this is ridiculous. How am I going to bond with my daughter when I only get a few

hours every other week?

So now I am gearing up for a custody fight. It is going to be expensive.

 It is terrible that a man has to have money if he wants to be a good father and be a constant

presence in his child's life. It is not fair. Everybody talks about the child's best interest... Well, I can

honestly say that Sophia's best interest would be served with me. My ex has admitted to me that she

takes illegal pain pills, drinks a bottle and a half of wine a night, and doesn't even live with my

daughter! My daughter lives with her grandma. My ex is living with some guy. My whole family has

seen my ex yell at my daughter to “Shut the F*** up!”. I would never yell at any child like that let

alone my beautiful little girl. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I am not dating, and she would eat healthy

with me. Right now my ex feeds her chicken nuggets every night. Yes, I am a felon. Yes I have been to

prison but that doesn't define me. I am a father first. I love my daughter more than anything in this

world. I will do anything to be with her. So, if any of you know of anything that could help, I would

appreciate any help I could get. I will regularly update this blog. I want to chronicle my fight for my

daughter. I'm sure I will receive a bunch of negative comments but they don't bother me and will be ignored.

I am who I am and that is a man who has made bad mistakes, but who loves his child more than anything in

the world.

Until next time...